Friends; How Many of Us Have Them?

Remember that song by Whoodini? Yeah, that was back in the day when the last thing on any of our minds was responsibility, let alone being a parent. But look at us now; all grown up trying to carry the weight of the world on our bare shoulders and for some of us that task is being done all alone. If any of you out there know me then you know that I'm full of pride and will walk a country mile bare foot before I open my mouth to ask for help. During these last few months you guys have followed me as I went through hell and back; from losing my government job, to being on welfare and fighting with unemployment. But fortunately for me, things have begun to turn around in my life. During the course of the last two weeks I've interviewed for several jobs (keep your fingers crossed) and unemployment finally kicked in (yes, I did a happy dance). But it was during these lean months that I came to realize who was really here for me; who my real friends were.

They weren't the people who hung into my every word when I was riding high; those who willingly stood in the spotlight with me when I was on top of the world as a bestselling author. No, it was the people who stepped up when others walked away when my perfect world began to fall apart. It was the individuals who knew the real Carey and not the groupies of CJ. People that I'd helped throughout my career where suddenly no where to be found or too busy to even accept my calls or return an email. They'd moved on to the next 'It Girl'. No, my real friends were and still are the people who noticed that I'd isolated myself from the rest of the world. They were the ones who called or drove in from out of town just to see what in the hell was going on with me. Yes, my ride or die BFF's were the individuals who put out a helping hand and assured me that it was okay to hold on to it while I went through these ruff times. They were my rocks in the storm, my shelter from the rain. They knew what I needed without me ever saying a word.

Sometimes God has to take us through some things before we can see clearly the big picture that is our life and the people who mean us well. He lets us go down into that valley because we need a wake up call; a reality check and He knows this is the only way we are going to 'get it'. And while we're stumbling around in the shadow of darkness we began to realize that certain people aren't who we thought they were. As we reach out into the unknown only to find people who really care about us, we began to see clearly that the only being who never left our side and sent those real friends to our rescue was God. This blog is dedicated to Maya and Michael and my brother Wil...the three people who helped me to keep it together and extended a helping hand as I found my way out of the valley.

Just Do It

As the school year begins to kick into high gear we'll find ourselves running back and forth between PTA meetings, teacher conferences, a ton of kiddie birthday parties, practice for whatever sport our babies have signed up for in addition to all of the other duties that we single mama's are committed to doing for our children. This isn't a star studded job and the perks are sometimes few and far in between. There are no awards or rewards for making it happen. But we just do it. Even if that means running on auto pilot from time to time.

Last week I had the pleasure of attending open house for my youngest son. And honestly, I don't know where I found the energy to even get into the car, let alone climb the stairs with a smile plastered on my face to greet his bubbly new teacher. But you know us super moms.... As I folded myself into his tiny seat, I decided to peak inside of his desk where I discovered his journal. As I flipped through the pages I ran across one entry that made my heart skip a beat and brought tears to my eyes. The topic for that day was to write about 'the most important thing in your life' and in his 3rd grade way he talked about me, his mama. He praised me for the little things that I do like preparing cinnamon rolls for breakfast and having a snack waiting for him when he jumps in the car after school. I wipped the corners of my eyes as I continued to read about the most important thing in the world to him, me. I could see him smiling as he wrote about how I allow him and his brother to crawl into the bed with me in the middle of the night after they've both had a bad dream. He spoke of the many stray pets that I've allowed him to keep over the years and how, after preparing dinner, I will help him with his homework and at the end of his day, I'll kiss him good night. I smiled through the tears that were streaming down my face. My baby could have written about anything...sports, cartoons or his favorite video game. But instead he wrote about me and all of the things that I do for him every day. Things that I thought he and his brother took for granted because I was simply their mama and that was a part of my job description.

As I closed his journal I reflected on how God has worked in my life during the past few years. How bless I am to have such wonderful children who don't ask for much, but get more than enough in return because I care. When I walked into that classroom I was tired and feeling very unappreciated, but the simple words of an innocent eight year old reminded me why I do what I do. It's not for a six-figure salary or a company office with a lake front view. It's not for the diamonds and furs or a mansion on the hill. No, I do it and all mothers do it for LOVE.