Wednesday, July 27, 2011
formspring.me
That's right, it's Relationship Wednesday! Got a question on Dating, Love & Relationships hit me up @ http://formspring.me/cjdomino
Monday, July 25, 2011
formspring.me
Got a relationship question? Well now you don't have to wait until Wednesdays! Ask away @ http://formspring.me/cjdomino
formspring.me
Got a relationship question? Well now you don't have to wait until Wednesdays! Ask away @ http://formspring.me/cjdomino
Monday, August 9, 2010
Who Gonna Check Me Boo
Yesterday I was on Twitter (my daily addiction) and a tweet from a comedian popped up in my time line. He was commenting on women and relationships, so of course you know I was all ears (or eyes in this case). But as I continued to follow his tweets I became concerned and then eventually tick-the-hell-off! This guy (who will remain nameless) spent an entire hour blaming women for dysfunctional relationships and breakups. Not once did he ever mention that sometimes men have serious issues too, like still in love with their ex or mad beyond belief at their baby mama. He neglected to talk about the men who bring crap from previous relationships into their new ones and how the current girlfriend doesn't stand a chance in hell from day one. I was furious and so I responded to one of his little tweets voicing my concern. Well of course he didn't have anything to say and continued on his rant about disgruntle women and pity parties.
In my book Who Does She Think She Is? I talk about the effects of interpersonal trauma (such as being dumped by a partner, cheated on in a relationship, abandoned by a parent in childhood, emotional abuse, or the traumatic death of a loved one) and how can the impact can interfere with how people develop and maintain future relationships when left unresolved. After an hour Mr. Comedian was still on a roll about women and how we need to fix ourselves and stop having such high standards when it comes to dating and finding true love. At this point I was ready to throw up! Was he serious? Unfortunately, yes he was. Tired of him and the nonsense that he was sending out, it was time to check homeboy. My last and final tweet before I un-followed him was this; "Before people start point fingers & telling others what's wrong with them, find out what's wrong with you first and fix it!"
Monday, June 21, 2010
Dating Challenge Update
Lawd....why is this so difficult! All I asked my friends to do was hook me up with an eligible bachelor
. You would think I asked them for an invite to the White House. After sending out an email to my closes friends encouraging them to set me up on a blind date with the man of their choice I was met with so many brick walls it was unbelievable. Their excuses ranged from... "You're nuts and I'm not doing that!" to "If I could find a good man I'd keep him for myself" or "If he hurts you I don't want you to be mad at me." But the shocker and most repeated excuse was "CJ, I'm sorry but I just don't know of any good men." I mean is it really that bad? Do we really have a shortage of good men (and notice I didn't say Black men because my white girlfriend got the same email as everyone else). Sadly my faith in finding a good man had fizzled like a soda that's been sitting out all day. The taste in my mouth...frighteningly bitter.
But fortunately for me I did have one girlfriend who stepped up to the challenge and found a guy who met all of my requirements; employed, good dresser, and no drama. So far we've talked on the phone several times and after each occasion I must admit that I'm finding myself more attracted to him. Have we seen each other? No, just photographs, but initially, I didn't even have that, just his number and the chance to meet a really nice guy. He admires what I'm doing and has taken this as a friendly competition, stating that he hopes I've had a chance to go on a blind date with two other guys so by the time he takes me out I'll realize that the 3rd guy is the charm (Awwwww).
. You would think I asked them for an invite to the White House. After sending out an email to my closes friends encouraging them to set me up on a blind date with the man of their choice I was met with so many brick walls it was unbelievable. Their excuses ranged from... "You're nuts and I'm not doing that!" to "If I could find a good man I'd keep him for myself" or "If he hurts you I don't want you to be mad at me." But the shocker and most repeated excuse was "CJ, I'm sorry but I just don't know of any good men." I mean is it really that bad? Do we really have a shortage of good men (and notice I didn't say Black men because my white girlfriend got the same email as everyone else). Sadly my faith in finding a good man had fizzled like a soda that's been sitting out all day. The taste in my mouth...frighteningly bitter.But fortunately for me I did have one girlfriend who stepped up to the challenge and found a guy who met all of my requirements; employed, good dresser, and no drama. So far we've talked on the phone several times and after each occasion I must admit that I'm finding myself more attracted to him. Have we seen each other? No, just photographs, but initially, I didn't even have that, just his number and the chance to meet a really nice guy. He admires what I'm doing and has taken this as a friendly competition, stating that he hopes I've had a chance to go on a blind date with two other guys so by the time he takes me out I'll realize that the 3rd guy is the charm (Awwwww).
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Do The Right Thing
This year my oldest son asked if I would take him to the store to purchase his dad a card for Father's D
ay. I had to stop and take a deep breath before I rolled my eyes and said "Hell No!" You see, when my ex and I were first separated my sons had made this same request of their father for Mother's Day and then again for my birthday. Each time they were greeted with "I'm not taking you to the store to buy that woman anything!" Yes, this was the explanation that my children gave me that first year of why they didn't have a gift for me. In the years to follow my children never asked me to take them shopping for their dad. I guess they thought my response would be the same. Instead, his gifts were either created at school or they didn't even bother. So this year I was especially proud of my son for wanting to purchase something and unlike his father, I decided to take the high road and drive him to the store.
When we entered Walmart, I thought it was best if I gave him his space and allowed him to select a card on his own. But when I returned to check on him, he had the most confused look on his face. Suddenly I was faced with the task of helping him to pick out a card for his dad! Now I know what you're saying, 'sista girlfriend, that's when I draw the line,' and I almost did. But I remembered that my son was only 12 and he was trying to do the right thing. So I shrugged my shoulders and together we picked out a simple Hallmark card that said it all for his dad.
The moral of the story is this...Yes, some of us single mama's do it ALL and we know that some of these dad's don't deserve a hello, let alone a card. But at times like this we have to remember that it isn't about what we think, it's about our kids and setting a good example. Biting that bullet was painless and it only cost me $5.00 (No, he didn't have enough money for the card). My reward is that I set a priceless example for my children.
ay. I had to stop and take a deep breath before I rolled my eyes and said "Hell No!" You see, when my ex and I were first separated my sons had made this same request of their father for Mother's Day and then again for my birthday. Each time they were greeted with "I'm not taking you to the store to buy that woman anything!" Yes, this was the explanation that my children gave me that first year of why they didn't have a gift for me. In the years to follow my children never asked me to take them shopping for their dad. I guess they thought my response would be the same. Instead, his gifts were either created at school or they didn't even bother. So this year I was especially proud of my son for wanting to purchase something and unlike his father, I decided to take the high road and drive him to the store.When we entered Walmart, I thought it was best if I gave him his space and allowed him to select a card on his own. But when I returned to check on him, he had the most confused look on his face. Suddenly I was faced with the task of helping him to pick out a card for his dad! Now I know what you're saying, 'sista girlfriend, that's when I draw the line,' and I almost did. But I remembered that my son was only 12 and he was trying to do the right thing. So I shrugged my shoulders and together we picked out a simple Hallmark card that said it all for his dad.
The moral of the story is this...Yes, some of us single mama's do it ALL and we know that some of these dad's don't deserve a hello, let alone a card. But at times like this we have to remember that it isn't about what we think, it's about our kids and setting a good example. Biting that bullet was painless and it only cost me $5.00 (No, he didn't have enough money for the card). My reward is that I set a priceless example for my children.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Hook A Sista Up!
Okay, call
me crazy, but I'm trying something new when it comes to this dating stuff. After this last dating fiasco I've decided to be adventurous and give the Essence Magazine Summer Dating Challenge a try. What I've done is enlisted the help of my close friends (I hope we're still close after this is over with.) I sent them an email outlining that I wanted each of them to arrange a blind date for me with an eligible bachelor of their choice (sigh, crazy I know). The only requirements that I gave were as follows; He had to be legally employed (I'm old fashion and he at least needs to be able to pay for the date), a nice dresser (No Coogie or Rocawear please) and no baby mama, ex-girlfriend or ex-wife drama (I don't do drama.)
me crazy, but I'm trying something new when it comes to this dating stuff. After this last dating fiasco I've decided to be adventurous and give the Essence Magazine Summer Dating Challenge a try. What I've done is enlisted the help of my close friends (I hope we're still close after this is over with.) I sent them an email outlining that I wanted each of them to arrange a blind date for me with an eligible bachelor of their choice (sigh, crazy I know). The only requirements that I gave were as follows; He had to be legally employed (I'm old fashion and he at least needs to be able to pay for the date), a nice dresser (No Coogie or Rocawear please) and no baby mama, ex-girlfriend or ex-wife drama (I don't do drama.) In a series of blogs this summer I am planning to chronicle my blind date experiences and allow you guys to experience dating from a single mama's point of view. In case you haven't figured it out by now this is a big step for me. For once in my life I've finally found the courage to step outside of my comfort zone and believe me this is waaaaaay out there, lol. I'm letting go of my fears and allowing people that I trust to hook a sista up! I'm not sure what tomorrow will bring, but believe me, it can't possible be as bad as what I've been through already.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
